I just don�t know anymore to tell you the truth. I feel so � abandoned might be the word that I�m looking for but it goes deeper than that. I would rather she not call at all than call when she feels like she needs me and then puts me on this fucking shelf when she doesn�t. It hurts hell yeah! But I mean what more can I do. I still cannot understand why I put up with the shit. I mean I went almost an entire week without hearing from her and then when I DO hear from her she�s not on campus � she�s at a friends house � I have no number where I can reach her at � she�s short with me � I want to know why in the hell she�s not in her room and all she can say is some shit went down with Ann and she feels like she�s in the middle. It�s bullshit. Right now I feel like she�s bullshit. This entire relationship is bullshit. Everything she stands for is bullshit. Every promise that has ever come out of her mouth is bullshit. But im so used to that bullshit that I don�t know how to live without it. Sometimes I just don�t know if there is a happy me without her. Hell this shit is worse than being with a man � honestly. There was not one man that ever treated me like THIS. Now yes they have cheated and abused but I don�t think that hurt is the same kind of hurt. This hurt takes longer to heal. Last night I cried myself to sleep. That is something I said I would NEVER do again. What�s funny is � one way or the other I don�t think she really much cares whether we�re together or not. Hell I wish I could have that same �I don�t really give a fuck� attitude. But this is what I get for wearing my heart on my sleeve. This is what I get for trying to be there for someone before I�m there for myself. *sigh* Aint it funny? �.

**

Its funny how, it�s funny how

Raindrops they fall

(They fall)

Everything is right

It�s funny how everything goes wrong

(Goes wrong)

When you need a friend

It�s funny how everyone�s gone

(They�re gone)

It�s funny how, it�s funny how

Not to long ago

When I needed you

You were nowhere

I couldn�t find you

But now you want me

I don�t want to be

Nowhere that you can see me

So if you ever come my way

Turn and walk away

See you were always

So dear to me

But then things changed

And you strayed away

No need to know why they changed

And why they couldn�t stay the same

Somebody take away the rain

And give me back my sunny days

I like the way things work

Why did they have to change?

I need you right here with me

Always, always, always

I need your love

I need your love

Your sunny days

It�s funny how

(It�s funny how)

When you need your friends

They�re gone, it�s funny how

(It�s funny how)

Suddenly things turn wrong

It�s funny how

(It�s funny how)

It�s funny how things never go your way

(It�s funny how)

Take the rain away

Give me back the my sunny days