Sometimes I know you think it's hard for me to understand the things your going thru or have been thru but you know I do. I remeber that night. And how you cried ... and how I held you. I wasn't going anywhere then and I'm not going anywhere now. At this present time you need me more than you have ever and not once have I thought about giving up on you. Us. The way I see it there is no ME with out YOU. We're a team ... a duo. We're the missing pieces to each other's puzzle's remember? Being afraid is apart of being human. Everyday I wake up and pray that my fears don't stop me from getting things accomplished. I'm afraid of my past ... and I'm afraid that it's going to interfere with my future. However because I know that one person loves me and is proud of me, those fears are less ... frightening.
I thrive off of your optimism. Never have I met someone who can see the brighter side of any situation. Because of your optimism and your faith in me and this whole situation I have grown to let go of stresses and worries that would have normally been my demise. That "something wonderful waiting for me on the other side of it all." is me ... that light at the end of that tunnel is me! I want to be there. I want to walk down that aisle to you ... I want to be the mother of your children ... I want to be with you for the rest of my life ... and I want you to need me ... to want me.
We share the same fears baby. Like I said in my previous entry our love has no limits ... no rules or definition. It just is! You will never lose me. And the only time I want you to lose yourself is in me. I am working on letting my fears interupt and knocking us off track. If I have led you to feel as if your loosing me baby let me take the time out now to sincerely apologize. I am taking the neccessary steps in getting my past together. I am learning slowly to not hold on to the feelings of hate and betrayal from my family. It will all come together eventually. Ashley you are more than just a girlfriend to me and I love you from the very bottom of my heart. And because you said it, I know things will truely be alright.
