I could sit here and pour out my heart and soul and thoughts into this small white square but I chose not to today. I don't want everyone to know whats going on in this brain of mines. I'm tired ... a little bit angered ... slightly disappointed in myself and my family in more ways than one ... my stomach is growling so I'm guessing I'm hungry too ...

LeY had a blast with my family I believe. I know they absoluetly LOVE her as my friend but I don't know how keen of her they'll be if they knew she was "banging my back out" as she so politely puts it. LOL damn it's a shame how much I love that girl and how much I'll do for her. It's hard for me to explain to her so I know I won't be able to explain it to anyone else. She wrote in her diary ... I can't say I've seen someone better express themselves. She's so good to me. It's kinda hard for me NOT to think of her well being before mines. I love and care for her THAT much!

I mean like she said ... "The uncertainty of things and how some of the pieces of the puzzle seemed to all come together when we found each other. How the dimmed lights at the end of our tunnels have slowly brightened." It's hard not to adore someone like that. She says I could never disappoint her ... in some ways I think that's bogus ... and in some ways I believe her. I want to provide for LeY. I want to be the one she runs to for any and everything. Loving her is something else ... it's a language. Of touch, of breath, of sound and of silence. It is a language of kiss and long, slow looks that last for hours. It is a multitude of meanings expressed in moments of unreality and reality - finishing each others' sentences and being unable to speak. Love is in laughter and in quiet tears that couldn't be helped when she was away for the first time. Love is all of this and ALL of us; and so much more - it has no limits and no firm rules or definitions. Love just is. So I guess that's my take on her. Us. When all else fails ... I know she'll be there. When everyone else gives up on me I know SHE won't. It's an unspoken certainty.

So I guess I did what I said I wasn't going to do ... Time to think now ... Plan B is about to come into play. Update you later.

CiaO