Okay so it's been 5 days ... *a work week to be exact* since I have spoken to her... I knew it was goin to be hard but damn! I didnt think that it would be THIS hard. Today I did excellent ... I had been thinking about her all day ... at the funeral *aunt Shirley died* ... I wanted to feel her hugging me ... I just wanted to hear her voice ... but I didnt call ... I geared that energy towards myself and I took Iyana to the swings ... and I watched as she went up and down without a care in this world ... her Nana loves her ... and she is provided for ... if things could be so simple in adulthood ... I guess they could if we stopped making everything difficult ... complicating situations with feelings ... Love ... emotions. I did call Ann though. It's unusual for me to NOT speak to her in almost TWO God forsaken weeks. She's the only femme CLOSE friend I have. But it's okay. In due season ... right?