O God of peace, who has taught me that in returning and rest I shall be saved, in quietness and confidence shall be my strength: By the might of thy Spirit lift me; I pray thee, to thy presence, where I may be still and know that thou art God; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
**
... So it�s been a pretty rough year for me and we�re only what, 29 days into the year? So you can just about imagine all of the things that I have been thru. I believe this is only the beginning. I feel that things might get a lot worse before they actually get any better. However I am taking the necessary time I need in order to better deal with those situations and alleviate some of this stress and worry. I started by coming to the realization that I�m weak � I don�t know how to handle situations without first stressing about them. Instead of thinking of a solution to the problem I tend to focus solely on the problem. *shaking my head* I�m learning though people. Just keep praying for me!
**
� Going to bed at 4am and waking up at 8am doesn�t seem to be a good sleeping habit. A lot of shit was heavy on my mind last night. The conversations I had thru-out last night were mind blowing. *sigh* I�m not one to tolerate ignorance and � silly ass black people irk the hell out of me! I read gemille 's diary last night and spoke to her for the 1st time in ages felt like!. I�m so happy for her! She has finally found her rose in the cement � someone once told me even the weeds help the flowers grow. And she has definitely had some weeds in her life. It�s reaping season though � no question! We talked last night though �
Caramelchocolate (12:24:54 AM): i gotta see how much it's going to cost me to make a trip home
Caramelchocolate (12:24:59 AM): Lesley is in Raleigh.
Caramelchocolate (12:25:04 AM): i will get to see you, too!
I can�t wait to see her! She�s been gone seems like forever. A lot has changed � we talked about that too...
Caramelchocolate (1:57:42 AM): i mean... just looking back... a lot has happened..
Caramelchocolate (1:57:48 AM): and changed
Caramelchocolate (1:57:50 AM): growth...
Dawifeytype (1:57:58 AM): that�s for damn sure
Dawifeytype (1:58:04 AM): ppl growing APART
Caramelchocolate (1:58:25 AM): and others together
Dawifeytype (1:58:37 AM): very tru � very tru
It was refreshing talking to her though. She calls me Takaboom and I call her Chaka Khan � lol they�re sisters. Gemi and I ... lol we�re a mess!
**
I still haven�t spoken to Yvette. She�s still in basketball camp out in Puerto Rico. I miss her � *sad face* � usually she calls me but I told her I really needed this time to just be with me. And being the angel she is � she just said � �Okay! As long as you grow from this Danny I have no problems with it.� So I cried and she was like I will talk to you in two weeks � stop crying it�s not that long and blah, blah, blah. So needless to say yeah I miss her yellow ass.
**
Best friends have the absolute best arguments! Like the arguments I have with Gemini (not to be confused with Gemi � who is Gemille) are classics. I�m talking all out mayhem! But like the best friends we are � we never stay apart long. Something always happens to bring us back together. That�s the Lords way of telling us to grow the hell up, lol. PJ and I argue like cats and dogs. We are like night and day. Complete opposites. We have one of those friendships that no one else could possibly understand. I just found out that she is indeed goin to St. Louis. Mind you we have made MAD plans this year. I mean my social calendar was booked with various events we were goin to attend. Yeah maybe we will be able to still do everything we planned but I mean shit! St. Louis is a bit far. I�m more hurt that I herd it from Jordan 1st. Then she got on the phone and told me. So I mean what does this do to the fact that we were supposed to be moving into this apartment in Raleigh before the end of March? All these questions running thru my head but it just hurt so much I just hung up on her. *sigh* I know that was wrong but I didn't know what else to say. Her mind is pretty much made up. So she�s going to St. Louis and more than likely I will just go home to NYC for a few weeks just to get my shit together. Who knows? Cause I sure as hell don�t.
**
I feel a little bit stronger today though. My battles seem more like molehills than mountains. Of course I had an argument with Tara today because *sigh* shit that�s all we do. So anyway she starts telling me how she spoke to Quita yesterday and all this shit. She knows good and well I don�t like this chick. So anyway we got to arguing about her � lol what amazes me is that she writes bullshit like this. Yvette has never talked �shit� about Tara like she says. No I am not making excuses for anyone but I would like to clear the air. Yvette main concern is my happiness. Yvette doesn�t like to see me hurt just like AJ doesn�t like to see her hurt (AJ is Tara�s cousin � see �cast�). What Yvette and I had was the past. She was not trying to take Tara�s place. She poses no threat to anyone but yet and still everyone is threatened by her. She gets a kick out of it too. But anyway it�s all love. I will never stop being her friend. But maybe Tara was right � maybe things are much better this way.
**
more to come �.
