we talked last night ... she talked i listened ... i talked she listened ... we did a lot of yelling in between. needless to say it's going to take some time for us to get things back the way that they used to be. and i love her too much to just let this relationship suffer because of me. i finally put my pride to the side and opened up. and allowed myself to stop feeling sorry for myself because I fucked up. so now ... now i guess we're on the road to recovery. and the path of making all the wrongs right. i just hope it's not to late for me. i hope i haven't put so much on her that she feels like i'm a waste of good space. and i know she loves me ... because if she didn't ... then what i did would not have been a big deal. so ... pride has a bitter taste to it ... so now i'm trying to learn ... and allow myself to heal ... and ... well i just hope that she hasn't given up on me ... and will help me thru this journey ... i now realize there is no escaping ... only dealing.

peace