So if today hasn't been the shittiest of days... well I could say that I have seen shittier days but this one is pretty damn close. Not only am I going thru shit but so is my baby. Its like I wish so much that I could do more for her. That fucking car man. She's paying an arm and leg for that damn diamante and its ALWAYS giving her hell. And once again it's nothing I can do. Can anyone possibly imagine how fucking irritating that is? It makes me want to fucking get violent. She has to work and its like I cant even fucking be like well I'll come and get you and you can go ahead and take my car to work. Its so aggrivating to be sitting here doing absolutely nothing. It really makes me want to scream. And it's like when I talk to her she sounds so... I don't know the word. I know I have asked this question a hundred times but why does life kick good people in the ass?!?! And me no im not at all good, i'm probably getting what I deserve ... but not her. I know she's no angel but as close to one as I've come. Its like I just want to hold her and run my fingers thru her hair and tell her I love her if no one else does I do... yeah I realize what I just informed the entire internet world but don't have the balls to tell her. There is a difference between loving someone and being IN love with someone. I am well aware of the difference. I know I love her ... and I believe i'm well on my way to being IN love with her. But that takes time. And trust I have nothing BUT time.

*sigh* Remember when you were like 7 and bad days were non existant. And even if you did have a bad day, all was solved with the purchase of a happy meal? I've cried and cried and now im just at a total point of confussion. I wish someone could make sense of all this. It's been a LONG day and it's still four more hours until tomorrow.

I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity. Edgar Allen Poe