So while taking LeY to work this morning we got into the discussion about where we would spend the holidays this year. My birthday is in 45 days and we're going to Florida *squeels with excitement*!!! Isn't my baby so GOOD to me? So we'll be in Florida (Orlando to be exact) the 25th thru the 29th and then it's back to the real world for us. Anyway back to what I was talking about, we were saying that holiday's are going to be difficult because we have to split the time between three houses, Sheila's in Sanford, my mother in law's in Ramseur, and my grandmother's in Oxford. Then I made a statement like "God what are we going to do when we have kids ... are we going to travel back and forth from Atlanta to North Carolina?" She responded simply with "No. We'll just send post cards!" We both laughed and then we got onto the topic of kids.

We know we want to have children once the time is right. I have stated over and over again recently that I want to have a baby and LeY has feverishly reminded me that it would be selfish of us to bring a baby into the situation we're in now. I totally agree with her on that statement. Bringing lil Addison or Avery into the world now would be a mistake. Well not so much as a mistake but a very bad idea. Anyway we are still undecided on weather or not to use artificial insemination or a new technique that they have where they take an egg from one partner and sort of transform it into sperm. It's a complicated procedure to try to explain and understand if you don't have M.D behind your name. You can learn more about the arduous process of us having a baby here.

Anyway the point I was getting to is that Ashley wants to physically have a baby. Now I've pretty much been in the life going on almost 5 years. Never have I dated someone who actually wanted to physically have a baby. At first I was a no go about it. However I'm not to sure how I feel about it now. I think the reason I had a problem with it was because there are certain roles we both play in this relationship. Yeah we may joke around and sometimes she'll say "yes daddy" to me but its all out of fun ... but when we're talking about reproducing I always felt it was my JOB ... my DUTY to have her kids. And now it feels like some of that responsibility is going to be taken away from me. She askes me would I love our kids any differently because they were biologically hers and not mines and I would never. They would STILL be my children. I don't know I guess it will just take some getting used to ... the whole idea of her being pregnant and carrying a child of her own. It's wild you know to think about. I told her the other day that the only reason I didn't want her to have kids was because "mommies" get fussed over and get tons of attention and that means I would have to give extra time into kissing her ass and I didn't want to. Yeah it sounds selfish and YES I was only kidding but I think she believes I was serious. I would love for her to experience the joys of pregnancy if that's what she wants. All I can say is it's going to be a VERY interesting 9 months!!

CiaO